A thought occurred to me last night. Social Media is the closest thing to “reading people’s minds” (telepathy) that we’ve achieved so far. Maybe it was too much Twilight Zone 📺 watching or thinking about what superpower I’d love to have as a kid, but I often thought about how cool it would be to know what people are thinking. To hear all their thoughts. I will tell you right now, no, you do not want to know.

What I hate about social media is that I can now know what almost anyone I have some sort of relationship with thinks about nearly anything. And I do not want to know. I don’t need to know who you, the person fixing my roof, voted for. Nor do I need to know what you think about the latest fashion trend, celebrity gossip, or political theater.

It’s too easy to make assumptions about people based on what they say they are for 👍 or against 👎. What they love or they hate. Or WHY they’re posting something about it. We don’t really know what is in people’s heads or their hearts. I have some people in my life that I am in 180 degrees of opposition with on certain topics that are very close to my heart. Yet, they’ve always been very kind to me and my wife, despite what I *think* I know about their beliefs that should make me think they would not be supportive of us.

People are way more complex than that. We recently traveled across the country from Minnesota to Florida and had nothing but pleasant interactions with everyone we came across. Even though we have LGBTQ+ and progressive liberal bumperstickers. Oh, and that we’re pretty obviously two lesbians because we also have a dog traveling with us. They don’t even know our car is named Becky and our RV is Lillith. Gay! 🌈🐶 👱🏻‍♀️👩🏻

Despite everything I’m reading in the news about how divided we are as a country and how we’re at a boiling point, people were still friendly. The world we were experiencing was one of benevolence and kindness. Sure, maybe people we interacted with had some thoughts running through their heads that we would NOT have wanted to hear – though my 12-year-old self would swear I’d still want to know no matter what it was. Maybe the thoughts they have now were passed down to them from family and they didn’t really feel that way, it was just kind of habit?. Maybe they were scared of us because of what “their side” had said about “us Queers”? Just like how I know I can be uncertain and untrusting about “those Christians”. I don’t love to admit that, but it’s been true in the past. I assume Christians won’t like me because I’m gay. That’s a whole other long post for another day. ✟ 🧛🏻‍♀️ ✟

And let’s not even talk about the weird things we think sometimes. Or worse, we all know that person who tells you what they’re thinking, whether you want to know or not. My mother has been living rent-free in my head 🏡 for weeks now, since she told me she doesn’t like it when I “have my mouth open” in photos and prefers a “more natural smile”. How dare she?! That’s one thought she could have kept to herself. I hereby declare and vow to take all photos, mouth agape, and send her every snapshot.

So, getting back to the theme of this newsletter, we’re not broken/there’s nothing wrong with us 🔥⚡️… We’re all just thinking too damn much. We’re making too much meaning of what people say or repost online, what the news is yelling at us, what we think about what our mom thinks about how we act, or the “faces we make” (Yes, I do realize I’m still salty 🧂 about this.)

We judge ourselves and we judge others based on snippets and moments in time. And then we make conclusions and let those conclusions shape our lives and our beliefs. And it could just as easily go a different way. Why would I assume someone doesn’t like me unless they are actively, in this moment, being an asshat to me? One thing I’m finding is that you tend to find what you’re looking for. If you think the world is a shitty place, you’ll overlook the kindness and love that is here. Because, despite all the headlines, my lived experience is that people aren’t trying to kill me with anything but kindness, lately. 🔪❤️

This is the kind of thing I work with clients on – seeing you’re not broken, understanding how thought works, getting unstuck. If you’d like to talk about what you’re going through, I offer a free initial call to see if coaching might help. Send me a message here